I was wrong

Despite not wanting be here as year six comes to light, I was wrong.  I wanted to die.  I lived instead.  I always considered that of love, hope and faith that love was the strongest of all.  If so, even the strongest cannot save the one we want to.  Sam is not back.  To all those moms out there loving all their sons to back, God’s Peace.  I would have done it all again to change the ending. 

No more.  For the first five years after losing my son, Sam, I could have vested in how if what I could do, could save one person, could help one person, then my pain and suffering would, somehow, all be worthwhile… the suffering.  Going on six years now, I believe not only in being able to help save one person, unknowingly.  I believe that what my life, Nick’s life, Sam’s father’s life, my parent’s life, Sam’s grandparents, Sam’s aunts and uncles, those who have been in the last five years in all our lives, we are all extensions of the beautiful life that Sam brought to us.  We are all beyond who we ever we thought we could be, would be.  Thank you, Sam.  Thanks you, Jesus.  Thank you, God.  Love does, indeed, live on beyond pain.  So does peace.  You’re still here, Sam. You’re right here. Every day #muchlovetosam