No one said it would be easy

I never expected it to be easy yet I never expected it to be this hard. The past five years I’ve worked my heart to the bone to mend to the brokenness and be the best I could for my son, Nick. Now a ray of sunshine seeps through the fog each day and brings me a delight I could have never imagined. My trauma before this though was unimaginable.

Wondering who Sam would be now, I’m called to reflect upon who I am now. I wanted to go to grad school after college, before life began but I never knew my life would require that much of me to move forward. I need only gaze at Nick now to see the reflection he casts upon me that tells me moving forward does not occur lightly. Instead, it takes growth and for our family that is growth from suffering… of a life that will never cast its light further upon us here on Earth. We will carry the light inside us now as though it were there from the start as it is now. It is love beyond measure. Time beyond being. Feeling beyond unbearable pain. #muchlovetosa