To be all right

On Mothers’ Day 2014 as Pastor Dave came into our home after we first learned that Sam had died overnight at just 16, his words were those of comfort… I can close my eyes and here his voice tone, calmingly saying that all is right with Sam and because all is right with Sam we will be all right.  It rang so true because I knew with all my heart that all is right with Sam.  

As I’ve gone on the two years past that day, I have stumbled; I have fallen and I have tried to pick myself up.  I have tried to pick those I love up around me as well.  If I’m honest with myself though, I am still fallen.  We all are.  It’s only been two years.  There is no smile when looking at a picture or remembering a precious moment with Sam.  We love him and he is gone.  We are not all right.  I know Pastor Dave is right though.

Even tonight after a wonderful night with family and friends, Nick and I drove home after to our new residence where Sam is here but Sam has not been here.  The air is thick and it is not all right.  Life is not fair.  Then I look at my phone to check my emails and what do I see but my quote of the day email… “Everything will be all right with you, when you are all right with everything.” - Lorrin L. Lee

It is true.  It will be all right when it is with me.  Today is not that day though.  I am still waiting… #muchlovetosam